


How To Tend To A Moulting Troll 101, a.k.a Helping your wife morph into an eight feet tall horror creature.

by extraterezi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Biology, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Earth C, F/F, Five Years Later, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Canon, Roxy is transfemme nonbinary, Trans Kanaya and Dirk is Law, Troll Anatomy, Xenophilia, epilogue rewrite, moulting, tw: body horror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2020-09-28 15:01:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20427881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extraterezi/pseuds/extraterezi
Summary: Rose always knew she was into some weird shit. But the vague idea of an attraction to the supernatural was nothing compared to the full force of her wife morphing into an eight feet tall horror creature and her heart's consequent reaction. But we are getting ahead of ourselves. This fic is not about sexy monsters or xenophilic broads, but rather the supremely shitty experience of watching your significant other turn into a soggy bug mummy and the excruciating wait that follows.





	1. Adult Moult 2: Electric Boogaloo

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by this art I made: (https://facetiousfanatic.tumblr.com/post/186961763562/facetiousfanatic-puberty-did-karkat-and-john) because apparently I have a fuckton of headcanons I had to get out of my system, stat!
> 
> Also these two fics:  
\- Romancing the spitting image of you ex (https://archiveofourown.org/works/10617183?view_full_work=true)  
\- Astronomy in reverse (https://archiveofourown.org/works/3989635/chapters/8957623)
> 
> The first one because it's my favorite Earth C fic and p much nails everything about post-SBURB life (especially the Davekat/Johndirk dynamic, it is Very Good). The second one cause I based my entire depiction of moulting on that fic, and because it is genius and makes me cry hard and good behind my ironic anime shades.

Adult moulting had only been mentioned briefly on Earth C - jokes made in fleeting conversations between trolls, and impatient explanations when the reference was lost on human ears. This had made the sudden onset of Karkat’s premature moult quite a shock for his human friends. Not to mention his boyfriend who, in the words of Karkat himself, went “absolutely shithive maggots” panicking about it. It was ultimately pretty harrowing for both of them, but Dave came out of the experience a self-proclaimed moult expert. Considering he was the only person that saw the nitty-gritty of the process from beginning to end, Karkat being unconscious through most of it, this title was well-deserved. It was only logical that it was him Rose turned to when the time came for Kanaya’s moult. 

It started with a rather extreme fever. Rose had returned from the kitchen with some reheated soup and a cold towel when Kanaya informed her that “Trolls Don’t Get Fevers”, eyes full of meaning. She was lying on her side of the bed, the mattress heaving with each exaggerated breath. She had her hands clasped over her stomach, primly and polite despite her condition. 

Rose’s hand clenched around the towel but then she smiled and held the bowl out for Kanaya to peruse its contents. 

Soup? It’s been days since I saw you eat a proper meal.  


Yes Well  


Fasting Is The First Stage Of A Moult  


I Suppose I Should Have Known What Was Coming When My Appetite Never Returned  


But Thank You  


For The Soup  


Rose Are You Quite Alright?  


This Is All New To You But I Assure You There Is Nothing To Worry About  


I’m fine. 

Rose looked at the sheets. The area around Kanaya’s back was dark with moisture, her skin glossy from sweat.

Is it slime time?

Kanaya smiled.

It Is

They moved her to her recuperacoon, a process that took several minutes with Kanaya’s jellylegs, thick drops of sweat clinging to her temple. They stuck to the towel Rose used to wipe them away, strangely viscous, and Kanaya informed her that it was her body’s natural equivalent of sopor slime, preparing her skin to start the shedding process. Recuperacoons, she explained, were a modern luxury, monitoring the temperature and moisture of the body and assisting in the process. Before those existed, all prepubescent trolls could do was find a safe place to hide and hope their body survived on its own. The mortality rates used to be over 60%.

Kanaya undressed and climbed into the tepid slime until she was submerged to her collarbones. 

What about now?  


Pardon?  


The mortality rates.  


Ah  


Closer To 20

There was a pregnant pause that lasted several seconds, until Kanaya seemed to realise the weight of her words.

But Oh Rose, Don’t Worry  


On Alternia Trolls Always Go Through This Alone, Which Means There Is No One Awake To Document The Process  


Those Deaths Might As Well Be Due To Pests Or Looters Or Any Danger That You Will Able To Protect Me From  


This also means I will have no clue how to help you  


Sure. But All Effects Leading Up To The Molt As Well As The Result Is Well Documented And Researched. And We Have Your Brother  


You know that only gets us so far. Karkat’s molt was unsuccessful. We have no conclusive proof that wasn’t a consequence of a misstep on Dave’s part.

Kanaya sighed, her mouth a straight line. 

It Will Be Fine  


Promise  


I Am Actually...Excited?  


When I Wake Up I Will Be A Fully Grown Adult  


It’s Terrifying, Naturally  


But Your Moult Is Something You Look Forward To, Your Adult Body A Symbol For Surviving The Trials Of Prepubescence  


It’s A Point Of Pride For My Entire Species  


And Because Of This  


Earth C, The Game and...You  


I Get To Experience It Without The Biggest Downside: Moving Away From My Friends To Fight For A War I Don’t Believe In

She placed a sticky hand against Rose’s cheek, who shivered. More because of the tenderness of the action than the slime, her wife’s eyes so intent and full of love it made her heart miss a beat. Rose smiled.

You extraterrestrials have it easy. You go to sleep a teenager and wake up with clear skin and, ironically, child-bearing hips. Meanwhile we humans get to walk around for years as crude effigies of partial maturity, pimples and puberty stashes abound.  


I’ll have you know, I’m quite jealous.

Kanaya threw her head back and laughed, a bright and genuine sound. And so very normal.

Rose leaned forward and kissed her clammy forehead, leaving the room to get her phone. When she came back, Kanaya’s head was slumped against the edge of the tub, her breathing heavy and the ghost of a smile still lingering on her lips. Rose dialed Dave, fingers tracing Kanaya’s hairline to the rhythm of the beeping receiver. After a few seconds the beeping was interrupted by the sound of shuffling and then, a voice.

sup rosalina  


That’s not my name and you know it.  


If you keep this nickname business up I will have to retaliate.  


hit me with your best shot bucko  


im a bulletproof bastard with a triggerfinger that wont quit  


dodging monikers and sobriquets matrix style  


giving all the name-slinging broads a run for their caegars  


Although I am fully capable of destroying you, it would not be in my best interest. No matter how amusing I would have found it.  


I need your help.  


oh?  


Kanaya’s moulting.  


shit

damn ok  


ill be right over  


...  


That’s it?  


hm?  


No bolstering about how you were the one I came to for guidance, the moult-master himself?  


About you being the sole keeper of knowledge that not even the trolls themselves are privy to?  


nah man  


listen  


imma let you in on a lil secret since youre on the precipice of a life-changing experience  


and because i am a living personification of the scientific breakthrough that is that experience i thereby have the exclusive authority to warn you about it  


Whoop, there it is.  


hey shush im tryna be heartfelt and sincere here  


anyways  


...  


shit  


ok here i go  


...  


watching karkat moult was the most painful thing i have ever lived through

There was a long silence which, more than his words, told Rose that he was being serious. Despite the many questions that flooded her mind, Rose held her tongue and waited.

and  


i mean that says a lot  


considering our mutual history  


you if anyone know the complete smorgasbord of bad times my sad mug has been through  


and nothing  


nothing compares to watching your best friend slowly zombiefy in his own skinsoup  


not knowing if the next fucked up thing happening to his body is part of the process or a sign of decaying  


not knowing if youre touching your sick friend or tending to his soggy corpse  


God.  


Dave, I’m so sorry.  


i remember when terezi and kanaya came to visit him  


we had talked before about what they knew

about moulting  


the process  


the aftermath  


they almost sounded excited for it to be their turn  


but when they came to see him  


it was like they were at a funeral  


like they knew it was inevitable  


that there were too many factors working against him

Dave sighed.

i mean he lived didnt he  


we made it through  


which means you dont have to  


kanaya is basically guaranteed to survive at this point  


and ill be with you every step of the way

Rose nodded, forgetting that Dave couldn’t see her visual confirmation. She didn’t trust her voice not to break, so she kept quiet. 

Dave had been so deliriously happy after Karkat woke up that Rose never truly considered how the period preceding it had affected him. When she had visited them during the moult Dave had been subdued, sure, but chipper enough to sound hopeful. Rose berated herself for failing to notice his pain. Hell, keeping a cool facade in the face of hardship was Dave’s whole deal. She knew that. Rose sighed.

Thank you.  


we got this sis  


dw  


...  


is your door locked btw

A moment later she heard creaking hinges, steps growing closer and then finally a knock on the bedroom door. After she failed to answer the handle janked and Dave entered the room, a hand covering his eyes.

yall decent?

Rose snorted.


	2. Fattening your wife like a pig for slaughter and slathering her naked body with alien slime

Dave spent the afternoon getting Rose up to speed with everything he knew. Getting tutored by her brother was a completely new and strange experience that Rose didn’t care for at all. There was nothing wrong about his methods. No, not at all. He was serious and respectful, helped her make lists and schedules, taught her tips and tricks he had learned days into his own practice. No, it was Rose’s pride that was chafing. But she would have to get over it, for Kanaya. 

One of Dave’s biggest discoveries was that the recuperacoon had a setting that allowed the user to lay completely horizontal in the tub. Now the only part of Kanaya still visible over the surface was her face, her horns submerged and with a meter or so to spare. The tub had grown to encompass most of the length of wall it stood against. Dave said this was perfect considering Kanaya would get very very big, very very soon. He found this feature after Karkat had already started his rapid growth. This meant he spent the first half of the moult sitting upright in the tub, forcing Dave to manually re-apply the sopor to his exposed upper portions every hour to keep his epidermis moisturized.

Rose raised her eyebrows at this.

hey cant a bro keep another bros epidermis moisturized without getting slandered in the press  


dudes with mics and cameras crowding the pristine lawn of their suburban pied-a-terre  


crushing their non-offensive but humorous welcome mat underfoot  


judging them for indulging in a bit of doctor-and-patient  


its just broship in its truest form  


nothing to write home about  


but yeah shit was mad annoying  


my sleep schedule was already fucked as all hell at this point and not being able to sleep for more than 40 min at the time made it a helluva lot worse  


anyways i brought some grub stuff  


wanna go to the kitchen and learn how to make a killer troll baby sandwich for your unconscious and soon completely ravenous wife?

-

By the time the sun went down Rose had a whole library of notes on everything she needed to know about the maintenance of said unconscious wife. The door of her fridge chock-full of morally grey recipes, and her freezer full of grubs. Dave was a surprisingly good cook, especially considering he had lived on nachos and garbage for the first 13 years of his life. He must have gotten real tired of it, because apparently cooking fancy multi-cultural meals was commonplace in the Strider-Vantas household. 

Rose picked up a post-it with the recipe for a classic mincemeat pie, but with grubs instead of beef, and started collecting ingredients. Dave had whipped up a grub salad for lunch, but if his hyperbole was anything to go on, the meager leftovers wouldn’t even begin to satiate the immense hunger Kanaya would feel when she woke up from her hibernation. Rose hated cooking, but apparently she would have to stock-up with as much protein and fiber as possible if she didn’t want her wife to devour her in a hunger-induced frenzy. 

The pie was a nostalgic decision. Although Mom would never put dead alien babies in hers, it felt like a homage nonetheless. 

When the pie was wrapped and stashed in the freezer, Rose pulled the armchair from the living room into the bedroom and rested it next to the recuperacoon. She grabbed a book from her nightstand and started reading out loud, her voice ringing out through the quiet house.

Kanaya wasn’t in a coma. Rose was pretty sure her dormancy was more like sleeping, which meant she wouldn’t remember being read to. Rose’s motivation, she decided after a moment of reflection, was that she was lonely. She had spent the majority of her life alone in her room, Mom’s presence more like a ghost haunting the halls than a source of company. But then she spent three years on the meteor, constantly surrounded by friends. And yet another five years on this new planet they created, where she had promptly moved in with Kanaya. Turns out, being alone was not a luxury she had missed. 

She finished the chapter. And then she sat in silence, listening to Kanaya’s soft breathing and the strange hum of the recuperacoon’s filter. 

Rose had one thought before she rose from the chair to leave Kanaya’s side, and it made her giggle. She said it aloud, cause she believed Kanaya would have found it funny. 

Oh woe is me.  


When will my wife return from war.


	3. Rose vs. Dirk

Rose was roused bright and early the next morning by a sharp knock on her door. Though visits were rare at her and Kanaya’s house because of its remote location, Rose had every reason to expect them. People were equal parts worried and curious, and she had already received messages from most of her friends announcing their intents to visit sooner or later. She expected the coming weeks to be a regular rotation of all the people she and Kanaya had ever interacted with, ever. Not that she wasn’t open to the idea. Despite meeting up with her friends regularly, the thought of seeing them still made her giddy. Dave had visitors almost every day during Karkat’s moult, and he alluded to the immense benefit this had on his mental health. Even so, Rose had assumed they would give her at least a couple of days to get her bearings. 

She barked out a “Just a second!”, hoping the open window would carry her request to the front door. She then proceeded to get dressed. If people insisted on being impolite, damn if she wouldn’t be the bigger woman and act the ever excellent host.

Rose stopped abruptly in her tracks. The nostalgic trigger “excellent host” ringing in her ears. She shook off the thought and continued. 

After a few moments spent freshening up she headed for the hall, only to find her least favorite Strider at her doorstep. He was practically sparking with restless energy, bespectacled with the same ridiculous anime shades that Dave used to wear. The fact that they were on his face and not tucked into his collar was a sign he was nervous or uncomfortable. Rose wasn’t new to the Strider rodeo, and she was nothing if not observant.

Dirk.  


I was under the impression you lived on the other side of the village?  


What brings you to our little slice of Earth C at...

Rose brought her arm to her face, checking an imaginary watch.

...seven in the morning?

She had fallen asleep around nine the day before, and usually woke up around this time anyways. Dirk did not need to know that. She enjoyed watching him squirm.

If she was going to be truly honest with herself, she saw herself in Dirk. And that made her frustrated. And just like the other dysfunctional members of the Strilonde family circus, she traded genuine emotions for humor. She was just about to offer up another quip to get them started, when Dirk promptly turned around to leave.

Sorry, this was a mistake.  


Hold on a second, cowboy.

Dirk stopped and turned around, eyebrows raised almost all the way up into his hairline. Rose smiled. 

You came all this way.  


Please, join me inside? 

Dirk nodded, his face morphing into what Rose assumed to be an attempt at an apologetic smile. To her keen eye it looked more like forced calm masking rising panic. Her mouth twitched, but she turned around and led the way into the house. 

Huh.  


I’ve never been here.  


Is that so?  


I heard you and Kanaya get along well. I’m surprised we haven’t invited you to a dinner date yet.

Dirk shrugged.

Nah, it’s cool. I’ve been busy.  


Nice house.  


Although I appreciate the effort, Dirk, you really don’t have to do that. I know superfluous pleasantries aren’t exactly your modus operandi.  


I’m guessing you’re here for Kanaya? She’s in the bedroom.

Even through his glasses Rose could see his eyes darting to the closed door she gestured towards. Dirk’s right hand was shoved deep into his pocket, the other scratching at his neck. The whole gesture was so blatantly anime Rose had to strain to suppress a scoff. She couldn’t believe it. The man was like a walking caricature. 

Listen, I know coming here so soon after Kanaya exhibited... symptoms... was a bad move. It’s practically on the same level as scavengers flocking to a fresh carcass.  


Shit. Phrasing. Apologies.  


I’m sure Kanaya will survive. I would honestly be shocked if she didn’t.  


I just.  


Hm.  


Karkat had his slushie bath magical girl transformation when I was still figuring stuff out about making amends and shit.  


Naturally, Dave and I wasn’t on speaking terms when it happened.  


I couldn’t exactly drop by at the ass-crack of dawn like “Greetings, estranged ecto-brother. Can I poke your almost-dead bro, maybe grab some DNA samples and then watch you lather him in alien goo like the ecto-freudian voyeurism version of an extra-filthy bukkake porn flick. I’m curious, and apparently kinky as all hell.”  


And the reason you decided this would be appropriate in our situation is...?

Dirk hesitated. 

I didn’t.  


I guess I just thought you’d...get it?  


Aren’t you even the least bit curious how all this shit works?  


You have the prime specimen for an unparalleled intergalactic science experience in your bedroom.  


She is currently undergoing a metamorphosis that has never been documented or recorded in the history of their species.  


History is being written in your house as we speak.  


I’m sorry for overstepping.  


But sitting on my ass ruminating, waiting for permission and wasting valuable time was driving me off my metaphorical fucking rocker.

Rose’s face went slack. This was exactly what she meant. She wasn’t sure it had been on purpose, but he had called her out. Of course she was curious! The news of Kanaya’s moult came with a cocktail of contrasting emotions. Fear, concern and excitement, all mingled together in a homebrew potent enough to carouse the gods. She would not make Kanaya into a science experience, that had never not been the case. But this was the most obvious enabler she had ever seen. Dirk was practically standing there, offering her an excuse to indulge on a silver platter. And damn if she wouldn’t accept it. 

Rose felt her cheeks twitch, and against her better judgement, she smiled. Not the polite and a little condescending smile she was known to produce. But a genuine, excited smile. A secret that Dirk Strider didn’t deserve to see quite yet. But blood is thicker than water, she supposed. 

Fine.  


Wait, really?  


Sure, Kanaya has let me examine her to sate my xenobiological curiosity several times before.

Rose raised an eyebrow and smirked for good measure, causing Dirk to scrunch up his nose.

I will document her progress, and my work will reach you in due time.  


I’ll even let you visit again, if I’m in the mood for a chat.  


But my research can and will never disrupt her comfort or impede her recovery. And since she is not awake to give consent, I will only record the findings I naturally come across when tending to her.  


She is, of course, the one who will decide what is ultimately done with the facts I gather.  


That sound good?  


I have to say, I’m quite excited for this.  


Thank you for bringing it up, although if I were you I’d work on my delivery.

She winked. Dirk’s frown grew deeper. She gestured towards the bedroom again, motioning in a way that said “Shall we?”. As they reached the door, however, she stopped him.

Before we begin, I want you to listen very carefully.  


If you ever call my wife a “specimen” again.  


I will strike you down and mount your head on the fencepost outside, warning any and all that pass that those who disrespect Kanaya Maryam will receive the full wrath of The Seer Of Light herself.  


Is that clear?

Dirk scoffed, a fleeting flash of movement on his otherwise motionless face. 

Crystal.

It had been a theatrical display of a timeworn cliché, and they both knew that. It was a challenge. Or rather, an invitation. To a dynamic more rewarding than their current stilted congeniality. 

They shared a moment, just then, proven only by what happened a few seconds later. They entered the room and Dirk removed his glasses, fastening them in his collar. Rose smiled.


	4. Fatherbrotherly bonding and 50s housewife-esque wiggle-waggle, aka spilling several kinds of proverbial beans

Rose spent the first few hours in Dirk's company completing all the chores Dave had planned out for Kanaya’s first stages - changing the filter in the recuperacoon, slathering her exposed face with sopor slime (making sure to give the eyes and mouth a wide berth) and brushing her teeth. Or fangs, she supposed. Her canines, already sharp and pointed since before, had grown nearly a centimeter each. Now they protruded out of her mouth, cutting into her lips. It was the biggest difference Rose had noticed since the moult had started, but it unsettled her nonetheless. 

Dirk had finished reading through practically every scrap of information she had collected from Dave the day before, and was now drawing in a second armchair by the foot of the recuperacoon. He had his left leg tucked under him and his right foot propped up against the base of the tub, knee bouncing. The tapping of his heel and shifting of his trousers created a staccato rhythm that in tandem with the humming of the filter sounded almost like a hiphop beat. 

Rose considered him, head tilted to the side. The similarities between him and Dave were there, sure, but they were superficial and thematic in nature. The words they used, the ironic glasses. They looked nothing alike, for one. Dirk was sharp and lanky and pale as a sheet. Dull blond hair starting in a widow’s peak and a splatter of acne across his nose, the red a stark contrast to his almost ghostly pallor. Dave on the other hand was mixed like Rose and had soft brown skin, every inch of him covered in freckles. He was one of the lamest people she knew, but Dave had at least nailed the Cool Dude look. Dirk’s My Little Pony hoodie and pants covered in pockets and chains made him look more like a parody of her grade school days. They did both have the same restless energy about them, however, but in two completely different tempos. 

Dave projected calm and confidence, rather successfully, but was betrayed by his hands. Constantly tapping and rubbing and moving. Shortly after they settled on Earth C Dave had stopped wearing his glasses, which meant you could now also see his eyes constantly darting around the room. Moving between closed doors, people, hands and windows. Taking casual but meticulous stock of every movement.

Dirk, Rose noticed quickly, was a nervous mishmash of microscopic twitching. To the untrained eye he was stiff and detached. But when you looked closer there was movement everywhere. A rhythmic clenching of his jaw, a subtle bounce to his heels, almost imperceptible jerks to various muscles. Like he was constantly testing if his body was ready for sudden movement. He was a tightly drawn bow, ready to snap.

Dirk had noticed her staring at this point, there was no doubt about it. But it wasn’t until Rose quirked her mouth that he looked up and met her gaze. 

Would you draw me? 

Rose batted her eyelashes and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. The corner of Dirk’s mouth twitched and he released a puff of air from his mouth, his version of a chuckle. 

They had landed quite nicely into a pattern of teasing and banter at this point, an arrangement both of them appreciated. The exception was her facetious incestual references. They made him narrow his eyes at her in a way that suggested she had just won their own private round of The Penis Game. 

Rose left Kanaya's side and bent over the back of the chair Dirk was sitting in, trying to get a better look at the sketchbook in his lap. Dirk's shoulders tensed ever so slightly, but he remained quiet. 

The open page was filled with sketches of various anatomy. Mostly close-ups and cross-sections of skin filaments and carapace structures. They were all strangely stylized for their supposed scientific purpose, but the chicken-scratch notes around the sketches made it clear that they were studies and breakdowns. In the middle of the page was a more detailed drawing of a skull, two horns protruding from the front and with long canines. Dirk was evidently trying to figure out what Rose had already been scratching her head about the entire morning - how Kanaya's teeth could be growing, conjuring enamel mass out of thin air. That was not how teeth worked. Dirk's explanation seemed to be that they had always been that size, but with most of their length hidden inside her skull. That they were currently pushing through her gums until most of their surface was visible. Rose watched as Dirk drew variations of the skull exploring the fangs attachment to the base.

Interesting hypothesis.  


Yeah. Interesting. Sure.  


Realistic? Probable? Not so much.  


There is no precedent for retractable teeth in any earth fauna.  


Snakes have fangs that fold back, but that’s about the closest connection I can think of.  


Hell, I don’t know if it’s even possible.  


Biology was never my strong suit.  


I prefer the more imprecise and subjective sciences, anyways.  


Well, that makes two of us.  


Shame. Ontology and behavioral psychology won’t help us with sleeping beauty over here. 

They both glanced over to Kanaya, motionless in her slime bed. For several long breaths, the chugging of their combined mental engines filled the silence. It wasn’t until her train of thought had died out she noticed how focused and intense they had just been. She’d known Dirk and her were the more introspective pair in the Strilonde quartet since the first time she met him. But experiencing it. Sharing it like this. She felt ridiculous even as she thought it, but she felt more kinship with Dirk in this moment than she had ever felt with anyone. Rose put a gentle and slightly embarrassed hand on Dirk’s shoulder. And to Rose’s surprise, he was completely still beneath her touch. 

-

Just when Rose had tired of bonding with her ecto-brotherfather, Dave called and suggested a movie night. This surprised no one considering Dave and Karkat spent more time watching movies than doing literally anything else. Rose wondered aloud how they managed to do anything else when they spent so much of their day with their derriérs glued to the sofa. Dirk, who had apparently spent the night at their place more than once, informed her that they didn’t. 

Dave and Karkat arrived around five, and for the second time that day Rose’s doorstep was filled with intense nervous energy. Not from the Strider this time, but from Karkat, who was peeking over Dave’s shoulder like a shy kid. 

Rose respected Karkat. She found him one of, if not the most, interesting conversationalists in their party of SBURB survivors. He was awfully bright, and possessed an imagination rivaling both Rose and Dirk’s. But his perspective was so drastically different from theirs, and to Rose’s endless delight he loved making this fact known to everyone in the general vicinity. Despite their blossoming friendship, Karkat was still somewhat true to her first impression of him. He could be painfully neurotic. 

But Rose’s exasperation was short lived. She quickly realised the reason for his distress when, in the hours that followed, Karkat avoided the room where Kanaya rested like the plague. He had politely declined when she asked if he wanted to see her, and excused himself whenever the topic was breached. He would grow quiet sometimes, staring at his hands, eyes flitting to the door into the bedroom. Dave was surprisingly attentive, discreetly grabbing Karkat's hand and rubbing comforting circles into his palm. It was in moments like these Rose wished she wasn’t so observant. She felt like she was intruding on something intimate and private. Besides, it was making her miss her wife terribly.

Even though it had been almost a year since Karkat’s moult, Rose still hadn’t gotten used to the changes to his appearance. Apparently Karkat was far from a traditional adult troll, his mutation resulting in a very mild transformation. But in the eyes of Rose and the other humans, it was like puberty hit Karkat like a truck. He had doubled in size, now a head taller than Dave and twice as broad. His sooty complexion had grown darker, the nubby protrusions on his forehead had turned into ridged horns the size of fists and his clawed feet developed the nasty habit of making their way through his shoes. Despite his imposing build he still looked just as soft and huggable as he did before. 

It was obvious that Karkat had the same difficulties adjusting to his new body as his friends. He looked like a large dog that hadn’t quite realised it wasn’t a puppy anymore. When it was time for the movie Karkat delicately placed himself in the middle of the small sofa, leaving a sliver of space for the brothers on either side of him. Rose felt immensely tender as she watched them snuggle together, a three-piece puzzle clicking in place like it was the most natural thing in the world. Even Dirk looked at peace, head resting against Karkat’s bicep, absentmindedly flipping the pages of the sketchbook in his lap. Rose was happy to be perched on the armrest, in full control of the tv remote and with an ear angled towards the bedroom door. 

They decided to watch The Danish Girl (2016). It was a recommendation from Dirk, the only one in the group who had been alive to watch movies released after 2009. They alchemised it, like they did with everything despite having full access to the internet. It was satisfying watching their collection grow with each movie they watched, and it wasn’t like they had anything else to spend boonbucks on. 

When the movie was over they chatted over the credits. Karkat was the second biggest gossip on Earth C (bested only by Calliope) and introduced the topic of the love-life of their mutual friends:

I’M JUST SAYING, ROXY AND JADE ARE TOTALLY FLUSHED AND THAT IS ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

He punctuated his sentence with the exaggerated and sweeping gesture of crossing his arms over his chest. Then he shot a smug grin in Rose's direction, eyes twinkling under his thick eyelashes. 

Is that so?  


yeah im with karkat those two are mackin on each other  


hard  


i havent seen rox in like four weeks  


theyve practically achieved cryptid status at this point  


when i saw them last they came out of the forest behind janes house covered in fucking leaves  


jade trailing behind like an excited puppydog  


pun DEFINITELY not intended  


god forbid  


but yeah  


bigfoot and mothman  


love story of the fuckin century if you ask me  


I’m surprised you caught them being outside. I made the myopic decision to invite them to my Minecraft server and consequently became a victim of fait accompli. My server hasn’t been the same since.  


HAHA OH YEAH FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.  


DIDN’T THEY CRASH IT?  


Yeah, you could say that.  


It started with some real wacky mods.  


Then they created this weird frog cult and flooded the server with ‘em. It crashed when they overloaded the npc limit, but they somehow got it back up and running again.  


I mean I guess it's no sweat for Miss Junior Nuclear Scientist and Mx Hacker Genius.  


But they didn't even apologize.  


:(  


I'm sorry about your Minecraft server, Dirk.  


But I gotta say, I'm thrilled about the presumed happy couple.  


yeah  


theyre mad cute  


SO CUTE.  


Agreed.  


What about John?  


WHAT ABOUT JOHN?  


Roxy and Jade were over just last week-  


UH RUDE.  


Ouch.  


oh great so its only us theyre ghosting  


-but John I haven't heard from in a while.  


Is he hanging out at your place a lot? 

Two pairs of eyes darted to Dirk, like aimed arrows. Rose raised her eyebrows. Dirk attempted a casual shrug, but his eyes were practically begging her to not get into it.

He's alright.  


Dude hung out with us yesterday, matter of fact.  


Played some Super Smash.  


Right, guys?  


mhm  


YUP

The smiles on Dave and Karkat's faces were comically wide. Like Dirk had just told the funniest joke, but for some reason they refused to laugh. 

HEY WE SHOULD INVITE HIM OVER.  


pfft yeah  


hold on  


yknow what  


why dont we just fuckin  


and hear me out  


invite all of them  


its been months since we had a good old fashioned shindig  


and i miss roxy  


slippery son of a bitch  


no offence rose  


None taken.  


oh and tz too  


we were about to meet up days ago but she just cancelled outta nowhere  


man my mom ditches me and now this  


Bro, I know yall love Terezi but she freaks me the fuck out.  


hey  


Hold on.  


Isn’t she like...  


You know...  


*In*  


On the whole Jade/Roxy sitch.  


Like a multicultural threeway.  


i dont think its like that  


not boutta spill my main girls secrets all willy nilly  


but weve talked about the big r  


and she does not give two shits about romance  


dont know if its still about vriska  


i mean could be  


she wont spill the beans on that one no matter the preposterous amounts of feelings jams weve had  


but im pretty sure tz is like  


no romo  


YEAH I’VE GOTTEN THAT VIBE TOO.  


THE ONLY KIND OF ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP I KNOW SHE ACTIVELY PURSUED IS HER CALIGINOUS FALLING-OUT WITH GAMZEE.  


AND I’M PRETTY SURE THAT WAS ONLY BECAUSE THE HYPNOTIC LOOKSTUBS OF A DUMPASS POSSESSED BY A LITERAL OMNIPRESENT DEMON LORD MANIPULATED HER INTO IT.  


AND POSSIBLY SOME RED FIZZY SHITWATER.  


I MEAN FOR ALL THE FLIRTING WE DID BACK THEN SHE NEVER ONCE MADE A MOVE ON ME.  


same here dude  


man  


i still think its fucking bananas that our closest common friend is our shared pseudo ex  


FUCK.  


WAIT.  


HOW COULD I HAVE POSSIBLY MISSED THIS.  


DAVE YOU BLITHERING FECULENT SHITHOLE, YOUR LOVE HAS MADE ME BLIND AND STUPID.  


Aww.  


SHUT UP, LALONDE.  


TEREZI HAS BEEN ASHEN FLIRTING WITH US THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED TIME.  


AND NOW SHE HAS GOTTEN BORED OF US AND MOVED ON TO PURPLER PASTURES.  


hey  


HEY  


babe  


you need to stop the eureka train right the fuck now or your man is gonna take a trip to blackout city  


are you sure????  


I HAVE TRAINED THE FULL SPAN OF MY DEPRESSING EXCUSE OF A CULLBAIT LIFE FOR THIS DAVE *OF COURSE* I’M FUCKING SURE.  


well do we  


i mean  


do we like her back?  


UH  


(Hey Rose.)  


(You know “help” is the hardest word in the English language but...)  


(Have an inkling what they’re on about?)  


(I know the basics of troll romance, sure.)  


(Care to share it with the class? Layman’s terms, if you don’t mind.)  


(The gist of it is that they are idiots having a conversation that should probably take place in the car ride home.)  


OH IM SORRY.  


FOR HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS IN YOUR LIVING ROOM.  


WHERE *ARE* OUR MANNERS.  


(babe lets go)  


well be in the kitchen  


brb

Dave shot her an apologetic smile before he herded Karkat out of the room and down the stairs. Rose took their place on the sofa and listened to Karkat’s voice fading, until it was an irregular drone at their feet. 

A party sounds good, you know.  


I don’t know, Dirk...  


You need this. If all that jazz Big D over here told you about is anything to go on, the subsequent weeks are gonna yeet your mental facilities to kingdom come. Maybe having all your pony pals in one place is exactly the boost you need to get through the horseshit.  


Jegus.  


Before we met I was under the impression you didn’t talk much, but now that I’ve heard yet another one of your soliloquies all I want is to gag you.  


Oh, do you?  


...  


Kinky.

Shit. Current status on the Incestous Jape Gambit meter: Fully in the orange team’s favor. 

I know this is coming from the king of unhealthy coping mechanisms, but.  


I think it would be good for you, s’all.  


It just feels so unfair to Kanaya.  


She adores hosting.  


The panacea to all emotions of the FOMO persuasion is to experience a party that transcends the one you missed. We’ll just have to host Epic Shindig 2: Electric Boogaloo as soon as she wakes up.  


Besides.  


Don’t you think she’d be glad knowing you made sure she was surrounded by people that love her?  


...  


She would.  


Thank you, Dirk.  


It’s all gravy, sis.  


Now, then. Let’s ring up some losers and assemble the Earth C power rangers.


	5. Ringing up some losers and assembling the Earth C power rangers

The guests started arriving at nine. In the end, only Roxy, Jade, Terezi and John showed up. Jane and Jake had both been unavailable for the evening, and they had purposefully neglected to invite Davepetasprite, despite their presence at parties being an all but universal constant. The party ban on this occasion was mainly because the company they kept. Wherever Davepetasprite went, Jasprosesprite was always close behind. And if two sprites were in the same location, the rest tended to flock there like moths to a flame. Rose found Davepetasprite to be an absolute delight, but the rest of the sprites made several people in their troop of friends thoroughly uncomfortable. Davepetasprite was a tolerable sacrifice. 

Jade and Roxy were the first to arrive. Both overdressed and three sheets to the wind. Not drunk, to Rose’s immense relief, but high. She heard their uproarious laughter long before they reached the door. Roxy was wearing a two-piece suit and a dress shirt so glaringly pink it hurt Rose’s eyes, their forearms covered in Hello Kitty bandaids. Jade was wearing a tacky old-school prom dress and an outrageous amount of colorful hair clips. Both were barefoot. It all practically screamed date night.

Rose moved to let them in but was immediately assailed by two pairs of arms as they both hugged her and placed a sloppy kiss on either of her cheeks. She pushed them off, face burning.

Yeah, yeah. You kids go wash off those feet, I don’t want any mud on the parquet!

Rose bellowed after them as they drifted into the kitchen, undoubtedly to raid her fridge. But a smile crept onto her face, fondness seeping into her gut like warm milk.

The next person to join them was Terezi. Naturally, she didn’t come through the door like a normal person. She just appeared in the living room - ass on the couch and with her red crocks resting on the table, one arm slung over the backrest. She gave Rose a quick nod and was immediately joined by Dave and Karkat. Both mock-casual and visibly sweaty. 

After almost an hour, the last guest arrived. John, the picture of politeness, was the first one to use the buzzer and was greeted by the rest of the group by the door. Dirk was the one to open it and was immediately pulled into a bear-hug that lasted a little too long for comfort, John flinging greetings over his shoulder. He then proceeded to give the rest of his friends hugs with the same enthusiasm, but the looks Dave and Karkat shared as well as the deep red tinge to Dirk’s face told Rose a story that she was increasingly inclined to get into.

After John’s advent the whole group landed in the living room, the space on the sofa filling up quickly and leaving the stragglers to sit on the soft carpet. The rest of the evening was a raucous cacophony of laughs and video game music. They played at least three different party games, one of which ended up with the losers getting dared to perform several bad rounds of karaoke. Two batches of pizzas were alchemized on two different occasions and the boxes crowded the snacks and sodas on the table. 

Sporadically throughout the night they retreated to the bedroom in groups of two’s and three’s, splaying out on the bed, the muffled sounds of the continued chaos in the parlor seeping through the door. Everyone took turns visiting Kanaya, except Karkat who still adamantly refused to even enter the room. They gathered around her recuperacoon, talking about nothing and everything, like she’s was a part of the conversation. And the mood was light and happy, but Rose was distracted. Kanaya’s absence felt like a vacuum, sucking all the air out of her lungs and drying up her throat. She glanced at Roxy and Jade, locked in a wrestling match on the carpet, a tangle of elbows and hair, restrained laughs through gritted teeth. They were silly and amusing and so obviously in love. And Rose ached.

When the energy ultimately died down, the rest of the party reassembled on the couch to watch yet another movie. Rose stayed in the chair beside Kanaya, her warm hand in her lap, tracing lazy swirls onto her wrist. She sighed, her eyes locked on Kanaya’s closed eyelids. 

It had only been two days. And yet Rose felt like it was years since she had last heard Kanaya’s voice. She shook her head, amused by how dramatic she was being. But the logical awareness of an intense feeling did not make it go away. And as she sat there in silence, she ruminated in her heartache, allowing herself the indulgence of imagining. Imagining her wife’s hands and face and eyes set in motion. Laughing and teasing and stroking her cheek. And then she sighed, for the thousandth time in the span of three days, the tension in her body dissipating with her breath.

-

Rose was roused by a gentle hand on her shoulder. She stirred, blinking into the dim light. Her neck ached from being slouched in the armchair, and there was a deep red mark on her hand where she had rested her head. The hand on her shoulder belonged to Roxy, and when Rose looked up she was greeted by their smiling yet concerned face.

hey brosephine how u holdin up? 

srsly youve been out for an absolutely bonkers amount of time 

i havent seen u in like 

one n a half movies or smth 

we gucci? 

Yeah, don’t worry. It seems I dozed off, is all. 

Roxy had discarded their suit jacket and left the tie untied around their neck like an old-fashioned James Bond. Their hair framed their face like a frizzy glowing halo, backlit from the floor lamp by the door. 

Love your new look, by the by. 

ey that means a metric fuckton comin from u 

thanks rosie 

its kinda inspired by your wedding look hehe 

we lalondes look mad killer in suits 

Hell yes. 

Although I'm sure Mom wouldn't approve. 

fo' reals? 

Yeah, she was pretty insistent on me dressing like a lady. 

To be fair, I think that was more because she wanted to turn me into a miniature version of herself than a dislike for androgyny. 

man i used to feel some sorta way about bein the alt-universion of your hells of wack mom and w/e 

like 

responsible somehow? for her wackitudes 

but shes so different from me at this point i feel completely disconnected 

I'm glad. 

And I agree. Though I have to say, your existence helps when I miss her the most. 

If you're this amazing, kind person that loves me. Maybe that's some sign she was too. 

At this point Roxy had pulled up the second armchair beside the recuperacoon. As Rose finished her sentence, they smiled and leaned their head on her shoulder.

right back at ya 

… 

im glad ur here 

Rose put her arm around them, the movement embarrassingly stiff. Reciprocating physical displays of affection had grown easier during her companionship with Kanaya, but it still felt a bit strange. In a good way, of course. A brilliant, heart-stoppingly pleasant way. But scary nonetheless. She fought the urge to clear her throat, a course of action that would only make this more awkward.

So... 

Jade, huh? 

eh what 

You're dating, are you not? 

Roxy's ears suddenly grew so pink they almost matched their dress shirt.

oh my gog stop mom you're embarrassing me 

i cant 

Hey, you're the one romancing my closest childhood friend! 

You can't imagine how bizarre this feels to me. 

But really, Rox, I'm happy for you. You seem quite smitten. 

ewwwwww 

Happy, yes, but I have to say it's all a bit too perfect if you ask me. 

whaddya mean? 

Well, we're all pairing up all neat and tidy. Me and Kanaya, Dave and Karkat, you and Jade... John and Dirk. 

adsgsgshdjgj 

WHAT 

DIRK AND WHOMSTVE 

Rose laughed. 

You haven't noticed? 

no???????? 

i mean im not surprised about di-stri 

he may be my bff 4 evs but that man is a goddamned enigma 

john on the other hand 

u couldnt find a more easy to read dumbass if u scoured through the scratch n sniff section of a kindergarten library 

or i guess jake is worse but at least he has the audacity to spout brittish gibberish to bore n confuse people out of tryin to understand him 

QE fucking D 

u saying im on the reading level of a toddler???? 

I disagree. 

I find it increasingly easy to see through Dirk's antics, while Egbert's motivations continue to elude me. 

well thats just cause he doesnt follow any sorta predictable logic 

hes a trust in ya gut kinda guy 

flights a fancy and what have you 

I see... 

I suppose we will just have to wait until they both figure their shit out. 

yup 

When are you and Jade making things official? 

jeeez 

u dont lay off do u 

idk its 

fragile rn i guess 

like a fabergé egg 

were both p happy go lucky peeps 

talkin bout scary topics kinda goes against that 

were just 2 gal pals 

doin sum playful wrestling seshes now n then 

and if those wrestling seshes are filled with mad romantic n sexual tension 

and sometime turn into makeout sessions instead 

then thats 

not really anyone elses business 

i think 

yet 

I fully understand. 

feels kinda dope talking about it tho 

thx rosie 

My pleasure. 

hehe yeah it is u perv 

backseat gaming my relationship 

bet youre loving the shit outta this 

I am, actually. 

I can't exactly enjoy my own relationship right now. Yours is a nice substitute. Or distraction, rather. 

shit ur rite 

im sorry 

It's, as you would say, "chill". 

I'm ok, Rox, don’t worry. 

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, but Rose's joints were stiff from her nap and she itched to get up. 

No. 

This won't do. 

I have neglected my hostess duties for too long. 

Shall we? 

after u, m'lady 

Roxy rose from their chair and bowed dramatically, one hand on their chest and the other pointing at the door.

-

When Rose and Roxy joined the others in the living room they were all in the process of leaving - untangling themselves from the cuddle pile and collecting their belongings tossed around the TV set. Dave and Karkat were passed out on the couch, and they all made the collective decision to let them sleep. They were both chronically light sleepers, and the fact that they had managed to fall asleep in the chaos befuddled everyone enough to leave them be. Rose followed Roxy, Terezi and Jade to the door while John and Dirk tidied up. 

Halfway out of the house Jade stopped them, one hand on the doorframe and the other tugging at her friends shirt hems. Her hair billowed behind her as she jumped back over the threshold, suddenly excited.

wait wait wait rose! 

i totally forgot the gift i brought you!!:D 

oh yeah bring that bad boy out 

and fast af cause u know for a snapple fact gourds tend 2 void snap to smithereens if u let them 

Jade spent a few moments rummaging through her sylladex until a vegetable the size of a small child dropped into her arms. She stumbled from the weight of it, but steadied and held it out proudly in front of her. 

its a butternut squash!! 

i brought one for karkles back when he was eating his way out of the house because he had the post-moult munchies. :B 

YE4H 1 R3M3MB3R 

1 H4D TO WITN3SS TH3 4FT3RM4TH OF TH4T G1FT 4ND L3T M3 T3LL YOU 

1T W4S BORD3RL1N3 PORNOGR4PH1C TH3 W4Y H3 D3VOUR3D TH4T TH1NG 

pffthaha 

he vored it u guys 

H3H3H3H3 

... 

ANYWAYS. 

i thought id harvest one for you as well! 

and this time way before your matespirit has time to eat the whole kitchen. 

if i were you id roast it with garlic and parmesan. :) 

1 DONT TH1NK TH3 T4STE 1S GONN4 M4TT3R WH3N 1T GO3S DOWN M4RY4MS THRO4T F4ST3R TH4N 4 CULL-B41T WR1GGLER 1N THE M4WS OF 4 H4NK3R1NG SKYHORS3 

oh shush you!! 

maybe it was less about trolls being super hungry after moulting and more about karkat being gross and bad-mannered!!! 

did you think about that??? huh??? 

i bet kanaya is going to be super pleasant and beautiful about it like she is about everything. 

aww 

i miss kanaya... 

:( 

>:[ 

They all looked at Rose, and after seeing her bitter expression proceeded to attack her with another three-way hug. Rose felt her hot breath bounce back in her face as she was suddenly surrounded by curly hair and warm skin. Being sandwiched between three of her closest friends felt like a shot of morphine, seeping into her limbs and smoothing over her sharp edges. Or hot soup, spreading across her chest and defrosting her tense insides. The metaphors kept winding and mixing in her head until she was released, but the feeling lingered. 

They all said goodbye and Rose looked after them as they left, shooting into the night sky like a flashy superhero trio. Or the Power Puff Girls. Rose chuckled. 

She was joined seconds later by John and Dirk, both looking just as exhausted and content as Rose felt. John gave Rose her fourth hug of the day, and promised he’d come visit again soon.

Dirk nodded stiffly when he passed her, but turned around halfway down the flowering lawn and gave her a wide-mouthed smile. Rose caught a surprised laugh before it escaped her lips. The dramatic movement on Dirk’s face was so gap moe it looked flat out goofy. It took her a full second, convinced he was pulling her leg, before realising it was genuine. His eyes were crinkled at the corners and two dimples sat on each cheek, clear as day and identical to the ones she saw in the mirror every day. He gave her a quick salute and took off after John, and Rose was pulled out of her shock. She let out another chuckle as she closed the door behind her. 

Tired and pleased as punch Rose got ready for bed. She put the remaining dishes in the dishwasher, tucked in the boys on the couch and brushed her teeth. She lingered in the hallway, soaking in the feeling of a perfect day coming to an end as she watched the night sky turn into a pale, blue dawn. Then, at last, she went to sleep. Comfortable with the notion that she could do this, and that everything would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post on my tumblr (facetiousfanatic.tumblr.com) when I update! Please talk to me about my fic I am Very Emotional :')


	6. Crying Palooza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /TW BODY HORROR/
> 
> There's some p nasty body horror coming up, so if you're sensitive to that you might wanna skip this one. It's an important chapter, but you'll still be able to understand everything if you jump straight to chapter 7 :)

On the third day of Kanaya’s moult, Rose was teased awake by a warm ray of sun. It made its way up her cheek and twinkled in the corner of her eye until she rolled over, grunting. She spent a couple of seconds with her eyes stubbornly closed, but gave in and gazed out over the mattress. The light filtering in through the blinds made it look striped, and Rose traced the pattern with her fingertips. After rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she sat up, pressing her toes to the cold floor.

She looked at the clock on the bedside table. 11 AM, figures. The others had left around 2 AM yesterday, and she felt thoroughly well-rested. She could hear soft thuds and muffled voices from the kitchen, probably Karkat and Dave making breakfast. Or brunch, she supposed. 

She grabbed a new filter for the recuperacoon from a drawer, made her way over to Kanaya and- 

Froze. 

Ice, cold and numbing, spread over her chest and out into her limbs. The dramatic change in mood so instant it gave her whiplash. She felt her vision go dark, for just a second, and she steadied herself on the armchair, eyes still locked on the scene before her.

What greeted her in the slime-filled tub was like something out of a nightmare. Kanaya’s limp form was floating, her chest and shoulders visible above the surface. Her skin bloated and pale, like wet bread, and so thick it obscured her features. The eye sockets had grown deep and green with bruises, neon green gunk collecting in the corners and along her eyelashes. Rose’s eyes traveled to Kanaya’s forehead and saw deep crevices around her horns where they had seemingly forced themselves out of her cranium, leaving folds of mangled skin in their wake. The horns themselves were almost twice their original length, the base covered in deep, textured ridges. 

Rose took a deep breath. She put trembling fingertips to Kanaya’s chest and felt them disappear into her form, the surface so porous it felt like it was made of more sopor slime than skin. It pooled around her fingers when she pressed down, warm and viscous and absolutely revolting. A chill traveled up her arm, raising the hairs all the way up to the back of her neck. Nausea hit her like a punch to the larynx.

She almost didn’t register the hot tears flowing over her cheeks until she saw them hit Kanaya’s face, rolling off the waxy surface into the slime. She also failed to notice the steps outside the door until it creaked open, releasing a waft of fresh air and the cloying smell of waffles into the room.

would the lady of the house like some wa-

Dave stopped dead in his tracks, his words dissipating like smoke. 

Rose was quiet, her arms limp at her sides and her vision blurry. Before she had the capacity to even think to respond, her brain numb and slow with grief, she felt Dave’s arm brush against her shoulder. Then he grabbed her hand, the firm pressure and warmth steadying Rose’s increasing vertigo. 

They stood in silence, shoulder to shoulder. The recuperacoon’s droning hum and the distant hiss of the waffle maker filling the quiet room. Every sensation sliced at Rose like a knife. Her skin felt as raw as Kanaya’s before her, every modicum of her attention fixated on keeping herself upright, conscious, breathing.

After what felt like hours, Rose regained her ability to speak. Her voice hoarse and quiet.

You were right.

Her eyes flickered to Dave.

She looks like a corpse. 

And then her vision started swimming again. Dave’s reds and browns mixing like a puddle of gasoline in front of her, the world a psychedelic art piece. Her lungs ruptured, and she finally let go, violent sobs racking her body. She pressed her hot face against Dave’s chest, crying into his shirt. 

Dave guided her to the bed, where she collapsed next to him. He stroked her back, slow and firm like he was coaxing the pain out of her system. It was grounding, and when the sobbing died out she matched each labored breath to the steady rhythm of his heart. 

its ok  


kanaya is fine  


youre fine  


...  


were all fine

A moment later they heard the door open again, and Rose surfaced from Dave’s embrace to find Karkat in the doorway. He was wearing a soft red sweater and had smudges of white powder on his hands and in his sideburns. He looked at Dave, who nodded encouragingly.  
Karkat inched his way into the room, his eyes big and dark and filled with so much concern and pity it hit Rose like a truck. He glanced at the recuperacoon on the other side of the room, and then back to Dave. His view of Kanaya’s bloated form must have been obstructed, because he looked more hesitant than shocked.

yeah babe its cool  


go ahead

Karkat drew a steadying breath and moved into the room, closing the door gently behind him. Then he made his way towards the recuperacoon, slow but determined. 

Rose wanted to look away, but then she saw the dawning horror in Karkat’s eyes as he got closer. A million emotions flashed across his face, each told by microscopic changes in his expression. Fear, disgust, grief, pain. They hit Rose like a rapid gunfire, and once again she hated her aspect for telling her more than she could handle. 

Karkat sunk to his knees beside the tub, his shoulders slack, eyes still trained on Kanaya’s motionless face. Then he placed his hand on her chest, impossibly gentle. And the gesture felt so intimate, and so immensely respectful it radiated off him in waves, hitting Rose almost like a physical sensation as she watched. There was so much more than friendly concern there. So much history. 

And then he looked up. His eyes met Dave’s and he spoke, his voice quieter than Rose had ever heard him.

I…  


I LOOKED LIKE THIS?

Dave nodded and swallowed, his eyes on the hands in his lap. 

There was a heavy pause as Karkat processed this, and the pity in his eyes only grew. Rose remembered her and Dave’s conversation a few days ago and she felt it too. Dave looked so small and fragile next to her, like he was made of paper. His pain made her feel helpless. All she could do was surrender to the powerful urge to hug him. Karkat seemed to come to the same conclusion, because a moment later Dave and her were both wrapped up in his arms, sobbing and clutching at his sweater with clumsy fingers. 

A long time and a lot of slow heavy breaths later, the hug relaxed. They were a tangle of arms and legs, and Dave chuckled wetly into Rose’s hair. The world felt still. Muted. Rose took one last, steadying breath and let her arms drop, leaning back. The hug dismantled. 

And like the press of a button the world started chugging again. White noise that she thought she tuned out, rushing back. The unnatural calm disrupted, the subtle movement to all things returning in full force. Rose felt her eyes widen. She looked at Dave, who smiled, a hint of smugness behind his features. 

YEAH HE DOES THAT  


I DON’T EVEN THINK IT’S INTENTIONAL

Dave shrugged. 

IT REALLY HELPS THOUGH

Rose nodded in agreement. She still discovered new ways people’s God Tier powers manifested themselves, and found it equally fascinating every time. Thinking back on it, she could have sworn that her reaction to Karkat’s emotions earlier was another example. Not necessarily of her powers though. Rose’s acute attentiveness was always passive, logical. Sure, she reacted to her findings emotionally, but her power only allowed her to see, not feel. 

When Karkat saw Kanaya, he had projected his feelings so powerfully it was like Rose had felt them herself. He was an empath. And a supernaturally powerful one, she was sure of it. But how was that possible if Karkat never reached God Tier? She stored away the thought in a box in her mind, already itching to explore it later.

She looked at Karkat and Dave. Now that all the crying had stopped, she felt embarrassed. Rose rarely lost her composure, and she guessed her sudden emotional outburst had been just as jarring for them as it had been for her. She was exhausted. But the catharsis of regurgitating all of her emotions had left her relaxed and clear-headed. Now, looking at Kanaya’s sleeping face only made her feel numb, only a sliver of concern still biting at her insides.

She stood up, and the others followed. They all looked down on Kanaya again, but this time the mood was different. Rose felt determined as she turned to Dave, hands on her hips. 

So…  


What now, Doc?


	7. work, work, work, work (work)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a lot of dumb research for this fic lmao

In the days that followed Kanaya’s body went through multiple stages in rapid succession. Dave explained that this was the busiest period of an Adult Moult and that it came with a lot of hard work, but that the last stretch succeeding it would be completely uneventful, albeit painfully long. 

ecdysis, or moulting, is comprised of different instars (stages) and the one kan is preparing for right now is called apolysis  


yeah thats right its fucking big words time  


your boy strider read a bunch of wacky bug books and now hes gonna lay down some biology beats  


so basically shes gonna form this gross skin shell and then the skin underneath is gonna separate from the outer layer and the area in between is gonna fill up with goo  


this means shell be like a life size alien statue for two weeks while all kinds of magic happens that we cant see  


that also means that this is as large as shes gonna get  


idk about you but thats a big ol relief for me cause i dont know if she could fit in this tub if she was even half an inch taller  


homeboy is like twice the size of texas at this point  


good luck sleeping next to that 

i can barely fit into my bed anymore and karkat is only, what?  


half? as tall as kanaya is right now  


jegus

Kanaya had indeed grown quite a bit. By now she was way too big to lay horizontal in the recuperacoon, and they had to prop her up against the edge. Dave ensured Rose that this was fine because the instar that required the epidermis to be consistently moisturized was over, and that the slime had outlasted its usefulness. The horns were an issue, however. Karkat’s horns had only grown to the size of fists, so he never outgrew his recuperacoon. Kanaya’s extended almost two feet over the edge, and the added weight put intense strain on her neck as it rested against it. They solved this by putting a towel on one of the armchairs and resting the horns against the backrest. 

Fine-tuning Kanaya’s posture was the maintenance that required the most time. If her epidermis hardened in a bad position it could disturb the process and ultimately cause permanent damage to her muscles and skeleton. Karkat had damaged his spine, and as a consequence suffered from chronic back pain. He insisted that he’d had a bad back his entire life, but Rose could tell that Dave felt somewhat responsible based on his meticulous instructions for Kanaya’s posture. She reminded herself to bring that up at a later time, realising Dave’s insistence to perfect Kanaya’s treatment in general was probably penance for allegedly fucking up Karkat’s moult. Dave had a long history of feeling guilty about shit that wasn’t his fault, and this time she would not stand for it.

As the weeks passed, Rose watched Kanaya’s bloated skin harden into a translucent, glossy shell. The shell itself was a mottled brownish white, but she could see bright jade fluid swirling around beneath it. Apparently it was very sensitive to fats and bacteria as it was created, and started producing toxic secretions when it was completely solid, so touching it was a no-go. The time for stroking Kanaya’s hair and holding her hand for comfort was over. Not that Rose wanted to now that she was a stiff and, frankly, smelly chunk of cuticle. 

Moping around in her house was no longer an option. She had filled both her fridge and freezer with food to last for months (or an afternoon, if Dave’s experience was anything to go on), and she had read every book they owned. This eventually drove her to leave her house and contribute to their growing community. 

She ended up spending a lot of time in what would eventually turn into the brooding caverns. Kanaya had made a lot of progress on its construction before she fell ill, but the work was far from finished. She had found a cave system that housed an ecosystem and climate appropriate for raising the Mother Grub and eventually, the grubs themselves. She had also employed several dozen carapacians to start excavating and expanding the facilities. When Kanaya started moulting she had entrusted the project to Terezi, who absolutely hated it and consequently left it almost completely inactive. But when Rose joined, they were able to rebuild the pipeline together and create a relatively productive construction effort. Terezi only had a vague idea of her species’ reproduction cycle, but was a useful complement to Kanaya’s extensive documentation.

After four weeks of hard work, the inner hub of the caverns was furnished and ready for its new tenants. Up until this point they had done a lot of manual labor themselves, but expanding and priming the other areas was a matter of creating some dedicated taskforces of carapacians and managing the process. Terezi, who revelled in bossing the little creatures around, gladly accepted the full workload and so Rose was free to find another project. She had quite enjoyed herself, and found a great friend in Terezi, but she was tired of spending eight hours a day in the dark. Terezi didn’t mind this specific downside, for obvious reasons.

Rose tried to help Jade and Roxy with the lab, alchemizing ectobiology equipment, but quickly realised she could not keep up with their science lingo and the esoteric tasks she was given. Instead she helped Dirk with the huge project of planning out the base of a city-wide electrical grid, and the infrastructure to support it. It was mentally demanding work, and she spent more time with her nose in books and taking online courses on the dead web, than doing any actual planning. But the intellectual challenge was energizing. She had been consistently ahead in school, so studying independently came easy to her. And like always, the company helped. 

Six weeks after Kanaya’s moult had started Rose was getting really worried. She had moved from project to project, hoping to keep herself preoccupied, but for every day that passed it proved less and less effective. Everyone kept telling her it was natural for Kanaya’s moult to take considerably longer than Karkat’s, as she was a midblood and not a mutated lowblood. Terezi told her about a movie she had watched where an indigoblood had moulted for five months. This only made Rose more restless. 

Her ADD was going haywire, making her jump from distraction to distraction until she tired herself out. She never felt truly focused or rested, and she was always moody, snapping at people for no reason. After a while she just retreated to her hermitic lifestyle once again, annoying only Vodka Mutini, who had been (lovingly) evicted from Roxy’s apartment after being ceaselessly antagonistic towards Jade.

Respectfully.  


You’re the only motherfucker in this city who can handle me. 

Rose joked, stroking Vodka Mutini’s back as its two sets of eyes blinked up at her. It purred, and the vibrations tickled her insides and made her feel calm in that special way only a cat could. 

Her new mutant companion helped fill the void in the house. Appropriately, considering its previous owner. All-in-all it made for some decent company, and as the days went by Rose felt a little less lonely.

But only a little.


	8. Land of Projecting and Self-Inserts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a hot mess express! The Terezi kinnie jumped out and the line between character analysis and self-projection blurred until I was TOO BL1ND TO S33 TH3 D1FF3R3NCE >:] please enjoy
> 
> also holy shit it took so long replacing all those E's and A's and I's with numbers. BRUH

Another week into her loneliness, Rose was startled awake by a loud noise. It was afternoon, and she had fallen asleep sitting by her kitchen island, hand clenched around a mug of cold tea, her cheek red and aching from being pressed against the hard wood of the counter. Eyes still muddled with sleep, she listened, brows furrowed. Then she heard two sets of footsteps moving around in the hall, and a muffled voice. For a second she thought she was getting robbed, and quickly rose to confront her intruders. But then a figure appeared in the other end of the kitchen and she froze.

Wild, black hair filled the doorway, framing a tall troll woman. Her face was mottled with faded bruises and her bicep was wrapped in what seemed to be the ripped-off sleeve of the grey henley she wore. Her eyes behind her thin-framed glasses were stormy and blue. She looked older, naturally, her features more angled and defined, but there was no doubt about it. Vriska Serket scratched at a scar on her temple as she surveyed the room, but stopped as her gaze landed on Rose. 

Before she could react Vriska had pinned Rose to the fridge, hands gripping the collar of her shirt. She didn’t look mad or scared or stressed. Her disheveled appearance and imposing stance were contrasted with a blank face and a surprisingly calm voice. More intent than threatening.

Where is she?

When Rose didn’t answer she leaned closer, and Rose could feel rough knuckles brushing against her neck.

Where’s Kanaya?

Rose was dumbfounded. Face slack, her brain sluggish and useless. Vriska smelled like sweat and ...pine needles? Before she could respond she heard Terezi’s voice, raspy and agitated.

VR1SK4  


CUT TH4T SH1T OUT

Terezi appeared behind Vriska and grabbed at her shoulder, pulling her back. She shot an apologetic look in Rose’s direction before turning back to Vriska. Her grip was firm, scolding, her sharp nails burrowing into Vriska’s shoulder. But her expression was soft. 

SH3S 1N TH3 R3SP1T3BLOCK  


F1RST DOOR TO YOUR R1GHT, OUT 1N TH3 H4LL

Vriska held Terezi’s stare for one controlled breath, the air thick with tension. Then she tossed her hair over her shoulder and left the room. Casual, like nothing had happened. 

Terezi sighed and looked back at Rose. She wasn’t wearing her glasses and her iris-less red eyes were empty and unmoving. Rose wondered if she looked at people out of habit, or if she forced herself to do it for the sake of others. Her interaction with Vriska suddenly made a lot less sense.

SORRY 4BOUT TH4T.  


L3TS G1V3 H3R SOM3 SP4C3.  


DO YOU H4V3 P3PP3RM1NT L34F W4T3R?

-

Terezi and Rose had just settled in the living room with Kanaya’s tea-set and a steaming pot of minty tea when Vriska appeared again. She was pale as a sheet and Rose could have sworn her eyes looked a bit glossy, but when she noticed the two of them she quickly schooled her features. The glimpse of vulnerability was so brief Rose could just as well have imagined it.

Well! Gr8 to see at least one of the surviving mem8ers of our dr8ry little party has decided to honor our prou8 Alternian herit8g! 

She waltzed over and picked up one of the teacups, examining it with an air of mock nonchalance.

Grant8d, it’s only a matter of time 8efore I follow in Maryam’s footsteps.  
8nyways, now that that’s all squared away I have other things to see to. Irons in the fire, you know how it is. 

Her mouth quirked and she nodded, tilting an imaginary hat.

L8r, ladies!

Rose watched her back as she made her way across the room.

…  


She’ll be fine, you know. Don’t worry.  


No need to 8e mawkish, Lalonde, it doesn’t fit you. Also.

She looked back and tilted her head, eyes narrowed.

Don’t tell me what to do.

Then she whipped around and left, door slamming shut behind her. 

Terezi and Rose sat in silence for several long minutes, watching the steam rising out of the teapot, curl and fade. The teacups sat empty and dry on their coasters. Terezi looked deep in thought and Rose felt curiosity bubble up through her shock, jump-starting her brain. After a while the curiosity got too powerful to contain and she spoke. 

So…  


She’s back.  


YUP  


How?

Terezi shrugged.

SH3N4N1G4NS, 1F 1 H4D TO GU3SS.  


She didn’t tell you?  


N3V3R GOT TO 1T, 1 SUPPOS3.  


F1RST SH3 4PP34R3D OUT OF NOWH3R3.  


W3 HUNG OUT FOR 4 WH1L3, 4ND 1 C4UGHT H3R UP ON 3V3RYTH1NG.  


TH3N 1 TOLD H3R ABOUT K4N AND SH3 JUST BL4STED OFF.  


NOT 3X4CTLY TH3 H34RTF3LT P4L3 R3UN1ON 1 H4D 1MAGIN3D.  


BUT 1 GU3SS TH4T’S MY B4D FOR 3XP3CT1NG 4NYTH1NG 4PPRO4CH1NG SINC3R1TY FROM VRISK4 S3RK3T.  


I thought Kanaya’s old crush was unrequited?  


Vriska barely said a word to her on the three years we spent together on the meteor.  


Why such a dramatic reaction now?  


YOU DONT G1V3 K4N 3NOUGH CR3D1T.  


SH3 W4S PROB4BLY TH3 ONLY P3RSON 3XC3PT M3 TH4T G4V3 4 SH1T 4BOUT VR1SK4.  


WH1CH M4D3 S3NS3, CONS1D3R1NG K4N4Y4 W4S TH3 ONLY P3RSON VR1SK4 D1DN’T TR34T L1KE D1RT.  


SH3 R3SP3CT3D H3R.  


VR1SK4 N3V3R M3NT1ON3D 1T ON TH3 M3T3OR, BUT 1 COULD T3LL SH3 H4T3D HOW D1ST4NT TH3Y H4D B3COM3.  


I noticed that too. She almost seemed… jealous?  


Y34H  


...

Terezi had leaned back on the sofa, face tilted towards the ceiling, but when Rose grew quiet she sat up.

WH4T  


Pardon?  


OUT W1TH 1T.  


What are you talking about?  


1 M4Y B3 BL1ND BUT YOU KNOW D4MN W3LL 1 CAN T3LL WH3N YOU’R3 NOT T3LL1NG M3 SOM3TH1NG. 

Terezi tapped a sharp nail against her temple.

S33R OF M1ND, R3M3MB3R?  


PLUS YOU PR4CT1C4LLY R33K OF GU1LT.  


SP1LL 1T, ST1NKY!

Rose sighed and put down her teacup, defeated. Terezi was fantastic at seeing through her bullshit and she had started to sympathize with the people Rose herself psychologically dismantled on a daily basis. 

Okay, so.

Rose cleared her throat.

A few months into our meteor journey.  


When I was still in the midst of a very complex, albeit slow-paced, courtship with Kanaya.  


Vriska and I… had a bit of a spat.  


We had developed quite the reparté and she was frankly driving me up the fucking wall.  


I’ve said this and I’ll say it again: Vriska is quite the extravagant bitch.  


So, naturally, we got into an argument.  


And.  


It ended with us…  


Sort of.  


...Kissing. 

Terezi, who was now sitting on the very edge of the couch, snorted loudly and clapped her hands on her mouth. 

Yes, I know, scandalous.  


Kanaya and I weren’t dating at this point, but I still feel profoundly guilty about it. 

At this point Terezi burst out laughing, a high and grating sound, with her shark-like teeth on full display. 

???  


NO, NO K33P GO1NG.  


I C4N’T B3L13VE 1 4M ON TOP OF TH1S 3XTR3M3LY JU1CY GOSSIP.  


K4RK4T 1S GOING TO PULL A MUSCLE.  


Terezi, respectfully, if you tell Karkat I will have to murder you.  


Y34H Y34H T3LL TH4T TO MY TW1N SWORDS, BLU3B3RRY BL4ST.  


SO TH3N WH4T H4PP3N3D?  


Nothing!  


It was nothing.  


It meant nothing.  


I actually haven’t even thought about it since. It was just this bizarre thing that happened a million years ago.  


W3LL TH3N HOW W4S 1T? >:]

Rose glared at Terezi so forcefully she was convinced Terezi could sense it radiating off her in waves.

Ugh.  


I don’t know, Terezi, it was different.  


It was...  


P1TCH?

Rose choked. 

Figuratively and literally. The mouthful of tea she just swallowed was now halfway down her airways. She sputtered, napkin pressed against her mouth while Terezi clapped her unceremoniously in the back, still cackling. 

HOLY SH1T.  


1 THOUGHT YOU WOULD H4V3 F1GUR3D TH4T OUT BY NOW.

Rose settled, absentmindedly patting her lips with the napkin. Meanwhile, her mind was reeling. She hated being wrong, and she hated realising she had missed something even more. And she hated Vriska. She hated her twisted sense of morality and how she didn’t know anything and how she didn’t care about that, she just did things. And she hated how she had hurt Kanaya. But she also hated the way she moved, and smelled and sneered and laughed. And that hate made her feel powerful. It was a physical sensation, deep in her gut, that swirled and pounded and--

Oh my god.  


I have a pitch crush on Vriska.  


YOU 4ND 3V3RY D34D TROLL ON 4LT3RN14.  


BOSSYF4NGS MCG33 OV3R H3R3 BROK3 4S M4NY H34RTS 4S SH3 D1D BON3S B4CK 1N OUR FL4RP D4YS.  


1T’S L1K3 SH3’S M4D3 TO B3 H4T3D.  


No, you don’t get it. This is textbook!  


I don’t know how many conversations I’ve had with Kanaya and Karkat about the complex mechanics of quadrant vacillation or hierarchical caste-based dynamics in a auspistice quadruple.  


I am way beyond overqualified for this.  


How could I possibly have missed it?  


YOU D1DN’T 3V3N KNOW WH4T QU4DR4NTS W3R3 B4CK TH3N THOUGH?  


Naturally, but I mean we’ve had this relationship ever since.  


Despite this, it never once occurred to me that it was anything beyond platonic. 

Rose put her head in her hands. She felt flustered, giddy almost? But before she knew it, that feeling was replaced by guilt, thick and hot, slipping through her ribs and pooling in her gut. 

Terezi.  


I love my wife.  


More than life and death itself.  


There could never be anyone else.  


You know that.  


H4T3 TO POP YOUR BUBBL3 TH3R3, HUM4N SH4K3SP34R3, BUT L1K1NG VR1SK4 DO3SN’T CH4NG3 TH4T.  


LOOK 4T J4D3.  


SH3’S TOLD M3 4LL 4BOUT HOW 1MPORT4NT MONOG4MY W4S ON 34RTH.  


4ND D3SP1T3 TH4T, SH3’S OUT H3R3 H4V1NG TWO M4T3SPR1TS.  


L1K3 4N 4BSOLUT3 M4DWOM4N.  


H3R LOV1NG D4V3P3T4SPR1T3 DO3SN’T M4K3 H3R LOV3 ROXY 4NY L3SS.  


Wait what-?  


4ND 1 M34N 3V3N TH4T’S UNCONV3NT1ON4L 1N TROLL T3RMS.  


YOU’R3 SUPPOS3D TO F1LL 4LL YOUR QU4DR4NTS. BUT 1T’S L1K3, ON3 P3RSON P3R QU4DR4NT. H4V1NG TWO M4TESPR1TS WOULD B3 A B1G NO-NO.  


3XC3PT FOR TH3 4SH3N QU4DR4NT. YOU C4N PR3TTY MUCH 4USP1ST1C3 TO YOUR H34RT’S CONT3NT. NOT TO C4LL MYS3LF OUT OR 4NYTH1NG BUT 1’V3 B33N 

K1ND OF 4N 4SH3N SLUT L4T3LY, JUMP1NG FROM TR14D TO TR14D--  


Terezi, is Jade dating Roxy and Davepeta?  


UH, Y34H.  


4G41N, 1 THOUGHT YOU KN3W.  


1 M34N R34LLY, ROS3, YOU’R3 4 SM4RT COOK13. YOU SHOULD KNOW TH3S3 TH1NGS.  


Huh.  


Honestly, we all thought you were the third party to that trio.  


H3H3 I C4N S33 HOW YOU’D TH1NK TH4T.  


W3’V3 BORD3R3D ON 4SH3N FOR 4 WH1LE NOW.  


What about Dave and Karkat?  


They both had an absolute conniption talking about your ashen flirting a couple of weeks ago.  


It was kind of funny actually.  


Y34H 1 SUPPOS3 THOS3 TWO WOULD B3 MY PR1M3 OPT1ON.  


1 LOV3 TH3 SH1T OUT OF BOTH OF TH3M.  


W3 H4V3 4 LONG H1STORY.  


1 KNOW HOW TH3Y WORK ON 4 FUND4M3NT4L L3V3L.  


BOTH S3P4R4T3LY 4ND TOG3TH3R.  


BUT HON3STLY?  


TH3Y 4RE L1K3 TH3 MOST MONOG4MOUS COUPL3 1 H4V3 3V3R SM3LL3D.  


1 DON’T TH1NK TH3R3’S ROOM FOR 4NY OTH3R QU4DR4NT 1N TH4T R3L4T1ONSH1P.  


TH3Y’R3 JUST.  


OK TH1S 1S R34LLY CH33SY BUT-  


P3RF3CT FOR 34CH OTH3R?  


1 DON’T TH1NK 1 COULD DO 4NY GOOD M3DDL1NG.  


1 M34N SURE TH3Y’R3 DUMB 4S FUCK.  


BUT 1 C4N SOLV3 4LL TH31R OBL1V1OUS M1SCOMMUNIC4T1ON PL4TON1C4LLY.  


Terezi, that was surprisingly...well, mushy.  


TO B3 F41R, 1 D1D W4RN YOU.  


WH4T3VER.  


1 DON’T L1K3 TH3M TH4T W4Y, 1S WH4T 1M S4Y1NG.  


4ND DON’T BL4M3 M3 FOR TH3 FL1RT1NG, TH3Y BOTH PR4CTIC4LLY B3G FOR 1T W1TH HOW 34SY TH3Y 4R3 TO M4K3 UNCOMFORT4BL3.  


3GB3RT TOO, FOR TH4T M4TT3R.  


OR W3R3, 1 SHOULD S4Y. 1 H4V3N’T DON3 4NY R3D FL1RT1NG S1NC3 TH3 M3T3OR.  


...  


D1D YOU KNOW 1 D4T3D 4LL THR33 OF TH3M 4T SOM3 PO1NT, 1N OTH3R TIM3L1N3S?  


S3P4R4T3LY, NOT TOG3TH3R.  


And I suppose your seer powers showed you that?  


Interesting.  


I have to say that feels quite gap moe for all three of them considering their shared...issues.  


Y34H W3LL, 34CH OF THOS3 R3L4T1ONSH1PS W3NT TO SH1T SO YOU’R3 NOT COMPL3T3LY WRONG.  


4ND TH3Y W3R3 4LL SURPR1S1NGLY S1M1L4R.  


1T’S L1KE 1 ONLY D4T3D TH3M 4ND TH3Y ONLY D4T3D M3 B3CAUS3 W3 F3LT W3 W3R3 SUPPOS3D TO?  


L1K3 W3 D1DN’T 4CTU4LLY L1K3 34CH OTH3R TH4T W4Y, BUT SORT4 W3NT 4LONG W1TH 1T 4NYW4YS?  


I GU3SS 1 L34RN3D 4 LOT. 4BOUT MYS3LF.  


4ND 1 B3CAM3 R34LLY CLOSE TO TH3M IN 34CH CONS3QU3NT T1M3LIN3.  


BUT HON3STLY?  


1 DON’T TH1NK 1’M CUT OUT FOR 4 CONCUP1SC3NT R3L4T1ONSH1P.  


1 JUST DON’T WORK L1K3 TH4T.

Terezi went quiet. Then she let out an uncharacteristically wistful sigh. 

Rose knew that Terezi was incredibly introspective. It was the reason Rose and her had become such good friends over the past year, fighting through their petty distrust when they realised how much they had in common. But she was also a surprisingly private person. And it was only now as Rose watched her, head resting against the back of the couch, pulling absentmindedly at the buttons on her shirt, she realised how honest and open Terezi had just been. She felt pride pulling at her spine, making her sit a little straighter. Terezi really trusted her.

Rose pushed on, curious and intent on savoring this rare opportunity to learn more.

What about Gamzee? 

At that, Terezi cringed, her whole body folding in on itself. 

If you don’t mind me asking, of course.  


The two of you had a pretty lengthy black relationship in John’s pre-retcon timeline. Almost three years, if I remember correctly?  


You don’t have to talk about it if you’re uncomfortable, I just…  


Well, I suppose you’re the only friend I have with any first-hand experience with kismesisitude.  


And considering my recent revelation, that might prove useful.  


Like a frame of reference? Or even a paragon?

Terezi scoffed dramatically.

1’M GO1NG TO H4V3 TO STOP YOU R1GHT TH3R3 W1TH TH1S P4R4GON HOOFB34STM4NUR3.  


MY R3L4T1ONSH1P W1TH G4MZ33 W4S 4 CONS3QU3NC3 OF A PR3TTY S3V3R3 M3NT4L BR34KDOWN AND M3 BAS1C4LLY H4V1NG MY NUGBON3 UP MY NOOK FOR 4 FULL SW33P.  


1T WAS ON3 OF TH3 R34LLY B4D T1M3LIN3S FOR M3.

She pulled a hand through her hair, nails scratching at the base of her horns.

1 4CTU4LLY D1D 1T 1N TH4T ON3.  


1 K1LL3D VR1SK4.  


AND  


W3LL 1T FUCK3D M3 UP.  


1 ST4RT3D DOUBT1NG MYS3LF 1N 3V3RY S1NGLE DEC1S1ON 1 H4D M4D3.  


1 SP3NT P3R1G33S JUST W4LLOW1NG 1N S3LF-P1TY.  


4ND TH3N H3 C4M3 4LONG 4ND 1 JUST  


PROJ3CT3D?  


H3 W4S SO 34SY TO H4TE TO B3G1N W1TH.  


1T W4S TH3 P3RF3CT 3XCUS3.  


BUT K1SM3S1S3S 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO DR1V3 34CH OTH3R TO B3 B3TTER  


4ND TH4T R3L4TIONSH1P JUST 4LLOW3D M3 TO R4T1ON4L1Z3 L3TT1NG MYS3LF GO.  


BY TH3 TIM3 1 R34L1S3D TH4T WH4T 1 TRULY H4T3D W4S MYS3LF 4ND WH4T 1 H4D B3COM3  


I KN3W TH4T 1 N3V3R H4T3D H1M TO B3G1N W1TH  


…  


H3 W4S 4CTU4LLY R34LLY SW33T  


B3FOR3 4LL OF TH1S  


B3FOR3 TH3 GAM3  


4ND LORD 3NGL1SH  


1 D1DN’T KNOW H1M TOO W3LL B4CK TH3N  


BUT K4RK4T LOV3D H1M  


4ND 3V3N THOUGH TH4T OV3RGROWN PUP4 WOULD LOV3 4 SH4DOW DROPP3R 1F 1T H1T H1M H4RD 3NOUGH  


TH4T’S PROOF 3NOUGH FOR M3

It was quiet for a while. Terezi took a large sip of her now cold tea and grimaced, smacking her tongue and shifting the cup, making the liquid swirl. Then she scoffed again.

1S TH4T P1TY 1 SM3LL, L4LOND3?  


YOU F1LL3D YOUR F1RST TWO QU4DR4NTS 4ND NOW YOU’R3 HUNGRY FOR MOR3?  


I assure you, my pity is strictly platonic in the most human of fashions.  


I just feel sorry for you, is all.  


Sounds like quite the ordeal.  


W3LL 1T D1DN’T 4CTU4LLY H4PP3N TO M3 1F YOU TH1NK 4BOUT 1T.  


T3R3Z1 PR1M3 M1GHT R3M3MB3R 4LL THOS3 F33L1NGS 4S 1F TH3Y W3R3 H3R OWN, BUT NO ON3 1N TH1S TIM3L1NE R3M3MB3RS WH4T 4N 3MB4RR4SS1NG M3SS 1 W4S.

Terezi was standing up now, brushing off her pants and placing her teacup on the floral tray in a facetial show of politeness. 

4NYW4YS.  


I N33D TO F1ND 4ND WR4NGL3 MY MO1R4IL 1NTO P4L3 SUBM1SS1ON.  


W3 BOTH KNOW S331NG K4N4Y4 L1K3 TH4T HURT H3R MOR3 TH4N SH3 L3T ON.  


BUT TH1S W4S N1CE.  


UH.  


…  


TH4NKS.

Rose smiled.

The pleasure is all mine.

She followed Terezi to the door, frowning at the muddy footprints tracing the length of the hall where Vriska had made her exit. Rose’s eyes followed the path’s origin to the bedroom door, still slightly ajar. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, emotions pulling at her mind from every direction. 

When she turned her attention back to the door Terezi was already outside, standing on the doorstep with her hands in her pockets. Terezi’s posture always reminded Rose of an old-timey stooge, her spine curved and with her neck jutting out. She was facing her, her eyes lidded and with a slight tilt to her chin. Before she got to know her, Rose would have read the expression as haughty and bored. But now she could tell that she was smelling her intently, trying to sense her emotions. Rose swallowed.

Hey, if…  


Hypothetically, of course.  


I would… pursue a pitch relationship with Vriska.  


Would you be ok with that?

Terezi huffed.

YOU’V3 B33N R34LLY W31RD TOD4Y, L4LOND3  


I W4SN’T 4W4R3 TH4T YOU COULD B3 4NYTH1NG OTH3R TH4N 4 STON3 COLD B1TCH.  


WHO KN3W TH3R3 W3R3 SOM3 INS3CUR1T13S UND3R TH4T COLD, C4LCUL4T1NG 3XT3R1OR  


1 L1K3 1T >:]  


4ND OF COURS3 1 SUPPORT YOU H4TED4T1NG MY MO1R41L  


YOU KNOW TH4T F1LL1NG 4LL OF YOUR QU4DR4NTS 1S TH3 GO4L FOR 4LL TROLLS  


3XC3PT M3 1 GU3SS  


1T’S MY R3SPONS1B1L1TY TO H3LP VR1SK4 R34CH H3R POT3NT14L, JUST 4S 1T 1S YOUR GO4L 4S K4N4Y4’S M4T3SP1R1T TO H3LP H3R R34CH H3RS  


1M ON YOUR S1DE H3R3  


1M T3LL1NG YOU  


YOU JUST GOT YOURS3LF TH3 B3ST W1NGTROLL 1N P4R4DOX SP4C3 >;]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vriska's 8ack 8itches !!!!!!!!
> 
> Here's some vrisrose art I made: https://facetiousfanatic.tumblr.com/post/187966960757/vrisrosesexey
> 
> And some Jade/Davepetasprite/Roxy art + hcs: https://facetiousfanatic.tumblr.com/post/187926263192/facetiousfanatic-earth-c-jade-is-poly-and-dates


	9. THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGG

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This ones saucy yall... like not nsfw at all but yknow a little SPICY. //TW: Violence, smoking, hot making-out seshes, kismesisitude, biting.

Rose had managed to effectively avoid seeing Vriska again for almost a full week, but the thing about good luck is that it eventually runs out. The inevitability of this fact made her inclined to say she saw it coming, but the surprised squeal she let out when Vriska jumped out in front of her told a different story. 

She had just finished some late-night errands and was standing by the ornate facade of a lurid yellow office building. She was in one of the bigger cities in the Carapace kingdom - Prose - appropriately named after its salt-and-pepper population. The rivalry between the Dersites and Prospitians had dissipated as soon as the game ended, but the cities that had formed over the years still tended to be relatively homogenous, this one being the exception. She’d seen a couple of the little fellows walking past on the sidewalk opposite her, but other than that the street was deserted. 

She was smoking, which more than anything was a sign she was in a bad way. It was a habit she had picked up in an attempt to gain Mom’s attention back before painfully cliché adolescent rebellion was replaced by more nuanced methods of one-upmanship. For a thirteen-year-old well-versed in developmental psychology, young Rose was not particularly self-aware. 

Rose sighed. She had spent the past fifteen minutes musing on the effects of carcinogenic substances on her godtier body, and after following several different trains of thoughts ended up with a dozen new potential research topics. By this point her cigarette was too short to smoke and she capchalogued it, still guilty about how quickly she fell into old coping mechanisms. A snowflake landed on her nose and she let her gaze retrace its trajectory towards the night sky. Another one hit her cheek. It melted and she felt the cold water run down her cheek-

WOW LALONDE ARE YOU CRYING????????

Vriska’s hands collided with Rose’s shoulders with enough force to send her careening into the street, but quickly grabbed a hold of her jacket. Before Rose had registered what had happened Vriska had pulled her back to standing, slapping her back and laughing. 

Oh my god the noise you made. 

That was incredi8le hahahaha.

Vriska’s unkempt mass of hair was speckled with snowflakes and she was wearing a gaudy windbreaker that only a blind person could love. Figures. Her bruises had faded into a sickly yellow, but the scar on her temple was as prominent as ever, pale against her dusky complexion. 

Vriska, good evening.

Oh yikes, why so formal all of a sudden?

Where's the 8ite? 

The bite?

You know. The sass! The unveiled sarcasm!

Comatose m8sprit got you down in the dumps? 

That does tend to dampen one's spirit, yes.

Awwwwwwww, well 8'nt that precious. 

What are you even doing here? I've been hither and thither all over this depressing chunk of rock but I never seem to run in to you and your little posse. 

Seems logical to me. It is, after all, a whole planet. 

I just came out of a meeting with this city's legal representative. My carapacian is a bit rough around the edges, but overall it went pretty well.

This kingdom's bureaucracy is still very barebones, but I think our new juridical motion will give them the tools they need to develop a proper legal system. 

Vriska's face had twisted into an expression one might make after biting into a lemon.

Why the fuck would a 8unch of game constructs need a legal representative?

They're just like...little guys, aren't they? 

She grabbed the lapel of a passing carapacian and lifted them up in front of her.

Oh no my 8ad this one is o8viously up to no good. Look at those lookstu8s!!!!!!!!

This is a cold, ruthless killer, no dou8t a8out it. He needs to 8e tried and judged in front of the Grand High8lood himself.

Let's get L8gislacerator Pyrope on the case, STAT. 

Rose cringed. She still struggled with keeping her instinctual perceptions of the carapacians at bay, but her moral contention was superficial and her heart wasn't in it. Most of them really did seem like NPCs or cannon fodder. Their intelligence greatly varied - they were incredible mathematicians and construction workers - but most of them lacked that spark of sentience that you could only ever find in humans (and trolls). It was like talking to incredibly well-trained primates. 

Carapacian and consort rights had, naturally, been one of the topics Rose and her friends had discussed during today's meeting. Most of them had the same inclinations as Rose, but Roxy and Jade had very strong opposing opinions. Understandably so, considering Jade spent most of her (albeit sleeping) life on Prospit, and that the carapacians had been the closest thing to a family Roxy ever had. Still, the two species outnumbered the humans and trolls by the thousands and if they were given equal voting power they would never get anything done in the large scheme of things. Their gullible nature also made it possible to quickly emass a huge political following if one knew how to exploit it. Rose doubted any of her friends had it in them to become a dictator, but the risk remained nonetheless. Besides, what is a government without fail-safes for impeaching corrupt-

Helloooooooo????????

Earth C to Ice queen?

I mean really, it's cold 8ut it's not THAT cold. 

Sh8ke it off!

Rose felt her eyes refocus. They landed on Vriska's hand, waving annoyingly close go her face. She swatted at it, and Vriska snickered. 

Space out much? 

Huh........

You're still kind of a mess aren't you? 

Vriska's usual, boisterous inflection made way for a smug purr, thinly veiled by mock nonchalance. 

I guess you'll have the pleasure of Maryam's company for a 8it longer then........

Rose made a show of rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

Fine, I'll bite.

What the fuck are you talking about? 

Vriska's sneer grew and she shrugged, shoving her hands into the windbreakers colorful pockets. 

I just figured she would've gotten 8ored of you 8y now! 

And why, pray tell, do you figure that? 

It's her whole m.o. isn't it? 

I thought you if anyone would've noticed that.

........Seer.

Well, apparently I've missed a lot of things recently. 

Oh. 

I guess love really is 8lind, after all ;;;;)

Look who's talking. 

Aaaaaaaanyways.

Let the superior Hero of Light shed some........well, light, on the matter. 

Our Maryam is a motherly sort. 

She loves to slither into people's lives, g8tting her slimy mitts all over their personal 8usiness trying to """"help"""" them. 

See, she likes them 8roken. I've seen it 8efore. 

The 8eauty and her 8easts. 

Something in Vriska's expression flickered and her voice grew hard. She wasn't looking at Rose anymore but at her clenched fists. 

She meddles, meddles, MEDDLES!

She will find your insecur8ties, the reasons why you’re mean and spiteful and violent, and then she will dissect them, loosen them up like knots on a string and dismantle your imp8ccibly weaved tapestry of pain. 

But what she’s left with is a pile of yarn. And that’s not very 8citing is it? 

Another smug smile made its way across her lips.

You were a t8 tangle during the game.

Lashing out, exploding 8uildings and upending the game 8y the roots in a 8lind frenzy........fun stuff, gotta hand it to you. 

8ut now, in your 8lissful domestic safe space, you are starting to untangle. 

And it is only a matter of time before she grows inp8tient again. 

Itching for another pro8lem to fix. Another 8east to tame. 

And 8y then........

........you’ll just 8e cattle. 

Rose wanted to scoff at Vriska's brash attempt to bully her, but it was like all the air had been forced out of her lungs. Her whole tirade rang too true to be anything less than years of experience. And the truth grinded against her heart like gravel. 

Kanaya and Rose's relationship was built on a foundation of deep mutual respect. But below that was a connection a little more painful to admit - that of two girls that both felt powerless and lost. Messy and confused and scared… but together. Rose projected the image of a girl much older and much wiser, and the weight of it crippled her. Kanaya carried the burden of her friends' pain like it was a personal liability. But together they could let themselves breathe. Flaunt their flaws and insecurities freely, leaving all thoughts of judgement and self-realization behind. It had been there in their love story since the beginning. They had started out with a courtship that came straight out of their romance novels, cringing at every misstep, terrified of what the other would think. It was only when they recognized the meaty, vulnerable parts that shone through the cracks in their elaborate charade, they saw what truly connected them - uncertainty. 

Rose had known Kanaya for nearly a decade now. A decade filled with sharing and learning in all the ways couples tended to do. She knew her. But Vriska had known her longer. Seen her in her worst and weakest moments. And maybe there was still a part of Kanaya that subconsciously regarded Rose as a project? Hell, Rose knew that tendency all too well. She'd done the same to her friends before the game. But the basis for her and Kanaya's relationship was the security and calm they both felt from letting go of that constant pressure to improve themselves and others. And if Kanaya was still tending to Rose's progress, analysing her improvements like Rose had always done with herself, then all of that would have been in her head. Their connection. All her memories of their moments of vulnerability, where she thought she could breathe, be unfiltered and shameless and unjudged. Now she saw them all through Kanaya's eyes. Pitiful Rose, so broken and scared. Like a lost child, or a wounded puppydog.

Shame trickled down her spine, slick and ruthless, consuming 8 years of soft, treasured memories. She grasped at the fading emotions, feeling her most important connection unravel at a dizzying pace. But in the rushing waters of recollection one memory called out to her. Kanaya's nose buried in her collarbone, wet hot tears and soft hair brushing against her shoulder. Rose's hand at the nape of Kanaya's neck, tracing comforting shapes in her scalp and smoothing out the curls, feeling her shoulders tremble as the sobbing dissipated. Rose's heart ached, but it was full and soft and warm. She had held Kanaya when she felt lost and scared on the meteor, when she mourned her dead friends, when she felt angry and conflicted about missing her horrible planet and when she was unconsolable for weeks during Karkat's moult, worrying about losing her closest and oldest friend because of the same brutal reality of her species that had claimed the rest of her friends years before. Sure, Rose had been a weak and broken mess for their entire relationship. But so had Kanaya. Vulnerability is a two-way street and there was nothing calculated or artificial about Kanaya's trust in her. They leaned on each other. Watched each other heal and grow with pride and relief. Vriska could try to twist that into whatever she wanted, but she could never corrupt Rose's trust in her wife. 

Rose's spiraling must have shown on her face, because when she looked up again Vriska was glowing with sadist satisfaction. But Rose felt calm now. Pissed off, but in that confident way where you just want to put someone in their place. 

Don't 8eat yourself up about it.

Kan tried the same thing with me when we were kids, but I'm not that easily destroyed.

She can try all she want to make me into a weak, su8missive cr8ure of comfort, but I won't 8udge! 

Unravel the great Spinneret Mindfang? Ha! I'm a 8owline knot! T8 and powerful and ready for anything! 

As soon as she wakes up we'll use that little la8rutalory of yours to make some trolls and may8e teach this planet's mushy inha8itants what it really means to 8e strong! 

Rose made a show of considering Vriska, a confident tilt to her head. That little tirade was so transparent it barely existed at all, and Rose had every intention of letting Vriska know it. She was on the warpath now. 

Vriska’s eyes flickered to Rose’s face and she faltered, coughing out a nervous laugh.

What’s with that look? 

Her posture was still radiating casual confidence, but her face had grown tight, mouth pressed into a thin line. Rose suppressed the smile tugging at her cheek and examined her own fingernails, scraping at the chipped black nail polish. 

You know, we almost forgot you existed for a while there.

Five years… That’s quite long, isn’t it?

Felt like a lifetime. 

The game is practically like a bad dream at this point.

Something we all just pretend never happened. 

Something we all just try to...well, forget.

And we did, rather successfully I might add.

But now you’re here! 

I must say I was worried you were going to be a trigger. Our “little posse” is quite the PTSD extravaganza, and you had every potential of being a walking time bomb. 

But as it turns out, no one really cares. Or notices.

Hell, I haven’t seen you in weeks and almost brushed the memory of your homecoming off as a strange grief-induced hallucination. 

Must be tough. Being irrelevant.

I know that’s a sore spot for you. 

And Rose watched as Vriska’s guarded expression melted into full-on rage. She felt a second of wild satisfaction at her reaction, proud that she’d managed to provoke her. But then the reality of Vriska’s glare hit her, and fear trickled in at the top of her spine. 

Vriska was big. She hadn’t moulted yet, but she was a highblood, almost as tall as Kanaya and twice as brawny. And she was a troll. Not a nomad, built for walking and surviving like humans, made soft from generations of comfort and deskjobs. Trolls were predators, and for the first time in her life Rose understood. Karkat could trim and paint his claws. Kanaya could walk and gesture soft, like a dancer. But they, along with the rest of Rose’s troll friends, were built for violence. And while they had fought for their lives, Vriska had spent her life capitalizing on this evolutionary advantage - sharpening it to its point. 

Rose suddenly felt five again, standing in front of the tiger enclosure at the zoo, eyes locked with something so familiar in theory yet so different in practice. Larger than life, emanating heat and power through the fence, like nothing Discovery Channel could ever communicate. Calm, yellow eyes and a soft growl that seemed to fill the air around her and vibrate through her chest. Lean muscle shifting under thick fur, and jaws big enough to fit around her whole head.

There was no fence this time, and the blue eyes that held her gaze were the opposite of calm. But the feeling was the same. That rush of knowing you’re not just a floating consciousness, but a solid, breathing slab of meat. Severely inferior to the vibrant presence before you, but alive. 

Rose had never really considered what romantic hate would feel like. Whatever she'd loosely imagined had been superficial, fleeting emotions. Like when someone annoys you so much you feel like strangling them. That, or the dramatic and performative black romances in troll cinema. But what she was feeling now, facing Vriska, her silhouette haloed by the white light from the streetlamp, was far from fleeting and performative. 

Rose’s love for her wife was a burst of serotonin - an all-encompassing calm that fluttered through her chest like clean air, the borders between her body and the sky a soft haze. It was bright eyes and warm skin, feathers and flowers. True contentment. 

But this. This was a shot of adrenaline. She felt clear-headed and grounded, energy and decisiveness coursing through her limbs like electricity, making her fingers and toes twitch in anticipation. Her body was a coiled spring, a complex weapon, and she was vividly aware of every muscle and how they could be put into use. Not in any cliché way like push Vriska up against the wall and take her nails across her throat (although that thought sent a familiar warmth swirling deep in her gut), it wasn't necessarily directed at her at all. Rose was enveloped in the distinctly physical sensation of wanting to _do_. To _accomplish_. And Vriska wasn't the target, she was the conduit. Her existence was a dare and Rose was filled with spite. 

Vriska flashed forward and Rose felt the impact of cold, hard concrete. Pain shot up her back and her vision went black for a short moment, her head flopping backwards, neck limp. Vriska was on top of her, knees crushing Rose's wrists and with her whole weight focused on the hands gripping Rose's shoulders. As her eyes focused she caught a glimpse of concern in Vriska's face, but then they both seemed to come to the same realisation. Rose shook off the pain from an impact that should have left her paralyzed as her god tier body recovered, and she kneed Vriska in the stomach. Hard. 

Vriska grunted and relaxed her grip enough for Rose to wriggle free and shoot up towards the dark sky. The silent snowfall had escalated into a light storm and a flurry of snowflakes swirled around Rose where she levitated, looking down at Vriska on the pavement far below her. She felt truly powerful for the first time in years. Powerful and angry, in the best possible way. Vriska looked up, face mirroring the maniacal smile Rose could feel straining her own cheeks. Then they collided. 

They tumbled through the air locked in a messy grapple, pitching and curving through the sky, wind ripping at their clothes. Rose quickly realised her dramatic physical disadvantage and changed tactics, scratching at Vriska's soft parts with her bitten nails and pulling at the tangles of her hair whenever she could reach it. Vriska must have been holding back - there was no way they were this evenly matched - but her claws still stung as they dug into her flesh. Rose embraced the pain, relishing in the feeling of fresh wounds and her muscles aching. It was cathartic, after weeks of numbness, to be reminded of the vulnerable skin wrapping around her bones. Her shallow breath. Her heart pumping desperately in her chest. All making themselves known to her theoretical, chronically detached brain. She could feel herself laughing - strained and regularly interrupted by grunts and groans. But it tumbled out of her against her will. 

They must have been fighting for several minutes when they crashed into some brambles by the roadside, because Vriska's hair was wet from the snow. It clung to her like black seaweed, and she seemed to struggle under the weight of it. Rose pushed Vriska into the frozen dirt, branches snapping around her. She was sitting on Vriska's abdomen, nails biting into her biceps, so close that she could feel Vriska's laboured breaths against her face. They were both sweaty, despite the cold air, and Rose could feel her body protesting as she put more force into her arms. Vriska was covered in scratches, Rose noticed with a burst of pride. Trolls had thick skin and it took quite a bit of force to mark them in any way. She had also managed to break her lip somehow, and cerulean blood stained her chin. Vriska licked at the cut experimentally.

Rose swallowed. 

Vriska smirked.

You are aware this is pitcher than the Furthest Ring right? 

Quite. 

Vriska raised her eyebrows. 

I didn't know humans had the capacity for 8lack feelings.

Neither did I. 

Vriska scoffed, raising her chin.

You couldn't handle it. 

Maybe you're the one that couldn't handle it. 

And then they were kissing. 

Vriska's lips were chapped and tasted like iron. Her hand was at the back of Rose's head, gripping the short hair at the nape of her neck and *tugging*. Rose let out a noise in the back of her throat, and she could feel Vriska's lips smirking against hers. Nuh huh. Not happening. Rose was not the same touch-starved and inexperienced girl she kissed on the meteor, like *hell* she was gonna let Vriska Serket fucking top her. So she bit down hard on Vriska's lip, right where it had been cut open. Vriska hissed and tried to push her off, but Rose was still on top of her. She grinded her teeth into Vriska's bottom lip, feeling the rise and fall of Vriska's chest against hers. When she let go she could taste blood on her tongue. 

Vriska wiped at her mouth, leaving a streak of blue blood and black lipstick across her cheek. 

God I've missed this.

Her voice was a husky whisper, which did all kinds of funny things to Rose's gut. 

The fact that Vriska turned her on was a fact she wasn't ready to handle quite yet, so she resorted to the very counterproductive distraction of burying her face in Vriska's neck. Vriska had a firm grip on Rose's waist, and the pressure was both grounding and oppressive. She squirmed underneath her, moaning into Rose's hair. 

Again that same power tickled at the base of Rose's spine, like when she'd gone grimdark or whenever she used her wands. Like white-hot static. At first it was a pleasant sensation, mixing with the warm swell of desire. But then it climbed up her neck and a blinding white light flashed behind her eyelids, an explosion of pain so violent she gasped. Suddenly she could see a dark glossy shell, rimmed with moonlight, with a large jagged crack making its way across its surface. The vision blurred and shifted, now showing swirls of bright green, like being deep underwater looking up towards the surface. An erratic heartbeat pounded in Rose's ears, so loud she wanted to scream, but then it stopped abruptly and she was back in Vriska's arms. She sat up, still breathing heavily, but now for a completely different reason. 

Mhmhm why d'you stop?

Something vibrated against Rose's thigh, along with a crackling sound, gratingly loud in the quiet of the dark street. 

Oh, my. Is that a 8laster in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ;;;;)

Rose's hand shot to her hip, gripping the baby monitor attached to the waistline of her jeans. 

Kanaya.

She ripped it off, staring at it in disbelief. Did she imagine it?

Wow, you two really are joint at the hip. What the fuck is that thing anywa-

Shut up. 

Wh-

SHUT UP. 

She listened intently, hand clamped over Vriska's mouth. Then, another burst of static. 

Rose shot way up, wind rushing in her ears, then looked around desperately, trying to determine her location in relation to her and Kanaya's house. Vriska joined her, clothes and hair still ruffled, but now with a deep furrow to her brow. 

Your house?

Yeah. 

It's that way. 

Is she in trou8le? 

I don't know. 

Fuck. 

...

C'mon, I know the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is comparing someone to an animal to illustrate how sexy they are being a furry? (Asking for a friend!!)


End file.
